Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
