i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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