i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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