I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
