wrigley field is MILF paradise
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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