apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
