If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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