Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
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