I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
