one two three fourrrrnication!
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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