How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
