Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
