oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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