I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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