Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
