States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Be still, my beating vagina.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize