do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
