Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
