and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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