Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I didn't notice because vodka
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
