This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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