i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
