I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
