i would punch a child for taco bell
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
