his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
