did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
