question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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