what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
