I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
