we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
