That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize