He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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