Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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