yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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