he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
