i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
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The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
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I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize