Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
