The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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