? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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