I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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