Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
