i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
