Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm like, not good at living.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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