Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
