It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
