Plan B is the new Plan A
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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