i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
