i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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