your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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