Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
