Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
