ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
