I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize