So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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