i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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