He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
