Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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