New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
