Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
