he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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