I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
