He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
