Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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