just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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