U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
