he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
