I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Randomize
