You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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