Soap is not a condiment
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize