We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
