Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
