Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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