Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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