Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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